Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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