I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
