I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We need to rekindle our bromance
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
