i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
