I wannas sexs uuuuu
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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