I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
