i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
