alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
