He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Still dying that you shit outside
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
