So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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