I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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