john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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