I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
MIDGETS
????
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
