i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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