My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
