You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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