Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
