I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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