you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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