ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
