no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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