Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
