Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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