I didn't shave. On purpose
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
