Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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