I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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