508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
