You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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