dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
