Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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