He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
