I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
