sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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