why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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