his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Someone shattered a urinal.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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