Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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