Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
