i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
