yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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