Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
