I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
