All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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