somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This baby is an asshole
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
