some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you would pick up someone in the library
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
