I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
