She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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