in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
