we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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