I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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