yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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