i permit you to call me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
