I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this just has baby written all over it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
