she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The air was thick with penises
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
