I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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