Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize