weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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