I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
