i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
