I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
