Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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