im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My dick has a subreddit
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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