Just cropdusted the office
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
